


who you are in this world

by londer



Category: A Crown of Candy - Fandom, Dimension 20
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate ways of handling a legitimate heir from a bad match, Campaign 05: A Crown of Candy, Canon Universe, Family, Fix-It, au: happy childhood, but not really lol, in this house we love both rina and ruby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londer/pseuds/londer
Summary: "What news, Sir Toby?" Every eye in the room is on him now. There aren't many awake tonight, just a handful of other members of the knights of North Gumbia and a few TartGuard. But this is news for King Amethar's ears alone, so he simply shakes his head."Diplomatic work," he says, careful to balance his tone. Make it sound boring, but not so boring as to be a lie. Technically the squirming bundle in his arms' presence in Castle Candy is diplomacy, of a kind. "Tarthur Cheddar's head is up his own ass about trade routes, as per usual."
Relationships: Saccharina Frostwhip & Rocks Family
Comments: 10
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is just like let's fix it but also break it in new ways!  
> in this house we love both saccharina and ruby and recognize that they are complete and complex characters!!  
> ignore the canon timeline all my homies hate the canon timeline

The noise of the thunderstorm outside fades as the heavy candyoak door shuts firmly. His boots squelch wet steps across the floor as he moves through the guardhouse, his cargo clutched tightly to his chest, hidden in the shadowy folds of his black cloak. The room is cramped and low-lit with tapered candles, air heavy with smoke and the smell of wet wool from the guards who have come back from their patrols. 

Nobody is outside in this weather if they can help it, but Toby's mission was too important for things like comfort. He's looking forward to a hot bath, a real meal, and for the padding inside his armor to dry out for once. It's storm season in the Dairy Isles, and he's spent the best part of three months soggy and chilled to the bone. 

"Go tell the King of my return," he tells one of the squires. The girl is half-asleep against the wall but jolts awake. Maillard, he thinks her name is, fourteen and desperate to be a knight like her older siblings once were, before the war. "Go directly to him, and tell no one else. I will meet him in the council chambers." 

"Yessir," she says, and bolts from the room into the keep proper.

"What news, Sir Toby?" Every eye in the room is on him now. There aren't many awake tonight, just a handful of other members of the knights of North Gumbia and a few TartGuard. But this is news for King Amethar's ears alone, so he simply shakes his head. 

"Diplomatic work," he says, careful to balance his tone. Make it sound boring, but not so boring as to be a lie. Technically the squirming bundle in his arms' presence in Castle Candy is diplomacy, of a kind. "Tarthur Cheddar's head is up his own ass about trade routes, as per usual." 

There are chuckles in the room, and Sir Toby takes his leave. He moves quickly through the mud-drenched courtyard and into the castle proper to make his way to the council chambers. Saccharina is squirming even harder against his chest, but he doesn't let her out of the safety of his cloak until they're firmly behind the panelled doors of the council chambers. Toby sits heavily into one of the high-backed chairs and allows his grip to loosen a little, bounces the tot on his knee. She's soaked through to the bone, and drowsy, the sleep tincture starting to wear off at last. He carefully wipes the wispy brown hair away from her face and tries to make silly faces at her as she sleepily blinks up at him. 

The chamber doors slam open as Amethar enters and Saccharina lets out a tiny wail, hastily muffled against Toby's chest. Amethar is still in his night shirt and his eyes are wild as he searches the room. Looking for Catherine. His eyes fix on Toby, on the toddler clutched to his chest, and Amethar's entire face collapses in grief and wonder. 

"Bulb above," he says, and closes the doors behind him much more quietly. 

"My King," Toby says, stands and genuflects as best he can while holding his precious cargo. "Shall I -?"

"Yes," Amethar says, but he's not looking at Toby, he's looking at Saccharina, who has now burrowed deeper into Toby's chest and will not look at him. 

"It's alright," Toby whispers to Saccharina, rocks her gently and pats at her head. She goes willingly into Amethar's arms, but does not touch him, just sucks her thumb and looks between the two of them with wide nervous eyes. He holds the wet bundle of girl and blankets carefully, secure but not too tight. "My King, may I present Saccharina Ghee, of the Dairy Isles." 

"And what of her mother?" Amethar asks, but the look on his face says he already knows. 

"Taken by fever some two months ago. The girl was being cared for by the local priest, Father Buttercream, but his health is failing and was grateful to be relieved of the burden of care." 

Amethar closes his eyes to shutter out the news, breathes deep in his chest. He's about to speak when Lady Caramelinda rushes into the room, looking more unkempt than Toby has ever seen her. 

"I came as soon as I could," she says, twisting her hair back into a bun. "Is she here? Catherine Ghee?"

Amethar is back to staring at his daughter, so Toby replies. "No. She passed two months ago, leaving behind a two year old daughter. Saccharina." 

Caramelinda's eyes are wide as she approaches them, eyes fixed on Saccharina. She smiles at the girl and Saccharina cracks the first smile Toby has seen in days. "Are you certain?"

Toby nods, and Caramelinda sighs, squeezes her eyes shut in prayer. "How awful." She looks between Amethar and Toby uncertainly. "What's to be done with her?" 

"She is the trueborn princess of Candia," Amethar says, but there is hesitation writ across his brow. Toby knows this is the reason he called Caramelinda here for this. Candia is still divided by lingering grudges of war. The daughter of a foreign commoner first in line for the throne would not bode well with the other nobility. They've stretched the length of the marriage negotiations to wed Amethar and Caramelinda and solidify internal alliances to the breaking point, waiting on Toby's news from the Dairy Isles. Saccharina grabs at Amethar's beard and he gives her his index finger to play with instead. 

"Who knows that?" Caramelinda asks and she looks nervous for asking and pets at Saccharina's hair gently. Toby knows that her children will need to take the throne if Candia wants to avoid a civil war in the next twenty years. He also knows that Caramelinda has a weakness for little ones and that she could never willingly put the girl in harm's way.

"The three of us and Father Buttercream. Manta Ray Jack knows of the wedding, but not the child. I bought commoner's places aboard ships for us, none of the sailors would have reason to suspect us." 

"I will not abandon her," Amethar says defensively. 

"Of course not," Caramelinda says, looking startled. "Amethar, that was never on the table. She just...might not ever get to know she is your daughter." 

"She has the Rocks family look," Toby says. They all look at Saccharina, who squirms against the attention, and Amethar bounces her gently to comfort her. 

"Maybe that will help," Caramelinda says, after a long moment of silence between the three of them. "What if she was Joren's?" 

"What?" Amethar asks, but Caramelinda's face has transformed with thought, and she paces a little, bouncing on her toes as her mind is clearly racing. 

"What if she was Joren's. From one of his partners. Two birds with one stone, Amethar, think of it. He claims her, and we pretend not to see his rebellion. We could send her to Manylicks -" Amethar's brow narrows and Caramelinda quickly backtracks. "Or she could stay here, as a ward, as part of the deal. Within Candia she would still be legitimate, could marry some minor lord or lady and live a comfortable life."

Toby can see the fight in Amethar's eyes, the temptation of ending the petty squabble that's slowly costing them men and supplies in the Great Stone Candy Mountains, of peace for not just now but for the future in Candia. Of the loyalty and love he has already attached to the little green bundle held tight to his chest, having already lost so much family. His eyes dip close again, and reopen with sad resignation in them.

"I'll write to Joren," Amethar says, but Caramelinda shakes her head, lays a hand on his arm. 

"No, I'll do it. Lord Cruller will want to know the letter's contents if it comes from you." 

"I trust Cal with my life." 

"A secret shared by three is easier than four," Caramelinda counters and Amethar sighs and nods. "I'll propose the deal, and you can sign it to legitimize the offer. Sir Toby, thank you for your aid in this matter. I trust we may rely on your continued loyalty?" Toby nods and salutes. "Excellent. Well then. It's late, and we should get you two out of your wet things."

* * *

Saccharina Jawbreaker is four when her cousins are born. The entire castle is a flurry of excitement, with nobles coming from across the country for the celebration. She hopes her father will come to visit, but Sir Toby explains to her that he can't, because he has to stay and keep his own castle safe. Lapin tells her during her lessons that her father disobeyed the king - not her uncle, King Amethar, but her great-uncle, King Jadain - which means he's not allowed to come to court. 

"Like he's grounded?" Saccharina asks. She knows about being grounded intimately, after she punched one of the stable hands when he called her a liar when she said she could see a lady in a blue dress standing in the reflection of the mirror. 

Lapin snorts and nods. "Yes. Exactly like he's grounded. Keep working at your letters, Lady Saccharina. They hold magic in them, once you can read and write." 

Queen Caramelinda's belly is huge, and sometimes the servants make mean jokes about the size of the baby. Saccharina prays in the chapel extra hard that it's a girl, because then it'll be like having a baby sister. She knows she has lots of half-siblings at Castle Manylicks, but she's stuck at Castle Candy as a ward until she's grown up. Queen Caramelinda is always nice to her and helps her with her knitting and listens to her talk about the silly things the lady in blue does and says in the reflections. Saccharina wouldn't _mind_ a brother, but a sister would be just like her and they could wear matching dresses and play tea parties together!

She must have prayed super well to the Bulb, because Queen Caramelinda has _two_ baby girls. King Amethar comes to get her from her nurse to bring her to meet them a few hours after they're born. They're little wiggly things, one black and one pink, faces still smushed up and gross-looking. Queen Caramelinda lies in the big bed, looking exhausted but proud. 

"Come meet your cousins," she says, beckons them both over. They all sit together on the bed, and Saccharina gets to hold Jet for the first time, nice and careful and supporting her head just like her Uncle shows her.

\--

Saccharina is twelve when she meets her half-brother for the first time. Liam is seven and fresh to Castle Candy and they look absolutely nothing alike, which is kind of disappointing. He seems nice, if quiet, but he still comes along to play with her and Jet and Ruby sometimes. Saccharina may be four years older than the twins but Jet still beats her in foot races around the outer wall and Ruby's better at sneaking snacks from the kitchen, but Saccharina's the best at talking them out of trouble with Uncle King Amethar and Aunt Queen Caramelinda. Liam is good at getting into trouble with Sir Theo, but he's the only one who doesn't have to have history lessons with Lapin so they're secretly all jealous of him.

Liam is quiet and gets more quiet when she asks him relentlessly about their father. He doesn't say much on the subject, just that he's bad at names and has many partners and _many_ children and is a big man with a deep voice. 

"You have the same face shape," Liam finally says after a long afternoon of grilling on one of his first days at Castle Candy. That's plenty to satisfy her, because now she can look in the mirror and thinks she can picture him. The blue woman is behind her as always in her reflection. Lazuli doesn't say as much anymore, not now that Lapin and Theo are quietly teaching Saccharina magic in the darkest part of the castle dungeons where nobody can bother them. Saccharina waves at her, and Lazuli smiles and waves back before she's gone. 

\--

Rina is twenty-two and standing in the Cathedral of Saint Arugula. Two guards are holding her arms back as she tries to run to her brother's side as the Pontifex accuses him of witchcraft. Crimes that are only her own and yet are about to be handed down on Liam's innocent head. She struggles in their grip, but Grissini's got her wrist twisted behind her.

And then somehow her Uncle's hand is on her Aunt Citrina's Book of Leaves, and the Pontifex's smile is like knives. 

"Did Emperor Uvano leave the throne of the Concord to you?"

Amethar nods, and he is tall and firm and resolute. He looks like an emperor, and he's going to save Liam from all of this.

"Congratulations. In that case, who is the new legal heir to the throne of Candia?" 

Rina can only stare as Amethar bows his head. His shoulders are tense, almost with grief. This is an easy question. Jet. Jet is the heir, will take the throne. She's too young, but Aunt Cara will help her until she's ready, and Ruby and Rina will be there to sit on her council and give her good advice and only tease her a little bit about who she'll end up marrying.

"Saccharina Ghee." Amethar says. "My eldest true-born daughter."

The world narrows to a slim point. And then the shouting begins.


	2. how you come into your own

Sir Theo follows the page down a series of corridors into a dark part of the eastern keep. His guard is up as they trek through dusty dim halls. He can hear their breathing and their shuffling feet and somewhere, the distant drip of water. This section of the castle is long-empty guest quarters, occupied only during particularly large events like coronations or weddings or once, the duel for Saint Citrina's hand which famously ended in a strike of lightning from the Bulb above knocking every combatant to the ground and leaving her free to take her vows with the Church. 

(Theo knows the lightning came from Archmage Lazuli. Citrina was just eighteen and not yet trained in the ways of channeling the Bulb's power. Lazuli had had a vision and Theo had helped her prepare the spell components.)

The page stops outside of an old candy-oak door and Theo steps inside. Queen Caramelinda and King Amethar are sitting at a small table by a low-banked fireplace. He hastens to bow for them and they rise, back-lit by the golden flames. 

"Your majesties," Theo says. He doesn't quite know what else to say, has no picture of a question in his mind, so he simply waits for them to do the talking. 

"Theo," Amethar says gruffly. "We wanted to talk to you, about, well, you see -"

He looks to Caramelinda, whose eyes tighten in a way that Theo knows means she's preventing an eyeroll. "You were Lazuli's ward once, and she taught you some of her magic, yes?" 

"Yes," Theo says, and there's a little trickle of dread in the back of his mind. Everything Lazuli taught him is technically illegal, and he's alone in a room with two very powerful people in a part of the castle where no one would hear him scream and certainly no one would find his body for months, maybe years. 

"Good," Caramelinda says. "Saccharina Jawbreaker has begun to display some... _remarkable_ abilities. She will need teachers to help her, guide her." 

Well. This is a turnabout Theo was not prepared for. "And you think... _I_ could teach her?" 

"Yes," Caramelind says, and she says it in a firm way that makes Theo think for a second that perhaps she knows something about his own abilities that he doesn't. "The basics, at least, of how to channel her energy, and how to control it, and perhaps a few useful applications."

"Yes, my queen," Theo says obediently, but his mind is churning with possibilities. He hardly knows Saccharina, they only truly interact as she hangs around Sir Toby in the training yard. She's formed some kind of attachment to him after he fetched her from Manylicks ten, perhaps eleven years ago now, as part of the armistice to temper the Jawbreaker rebellion. Saccharina seems clever enough, and it's well-known that she and her cousins, the Princesses, are such close friends as to be sisters. 

Wait. Caramelinda had said teachers, plural. Which means - 

"Apologies for my tardiness, your majesties," comes a nasally voice and Theo's spine stiffens. 

"Chancellor," Caramelinda says smoothly as Lapin comes into the light to stand beside Theo. "We were just filling Sir Theobald in on the plans you and I previously discussed." 

* * *

Saccharina hates history lessons with Lapin but she _loves_ his magic lessons. Sir Theo's magic lessons are fine, but he's so worried about things being safe that he never lets her have any _fun_. Sir Theo likes to talk about how magic that isn't from the Bulb is forbidden under the Concord, so she has to be extra careful and not use it anywhere except for the stinky dungeon that she's allowed to practice in. 

Their practice rooms are deep in the bowels of the castle, far past the few cells for prisoners and the storerooms and the wine cellars full of aged cola and the long-abandoned armories full of equipment left over from the Ravening War. It _stinks_ down here, no matter how many times she tries to use _prestidigitation_ or how many of Lady Donetta's nice-smelling candles she borrows to burn down here. 

She's getting better, but their lessons are twice a week and Ruby and Jet are starting to bother her about where she goes when she leaves them. They tried to follow her once and she had distracted them by showing them the secret passage she found that spirals from the lower kitchens to the top of the parapets. Sir Theobald had shouted and Lapin had snide remarks about her missing her lesson, but they had relented and moved them to late in the evening, far past Ruby and Jet's bedtimes when their nurse was less likely to let them follow after Saccharina.

Her sorcery grows and blossoms under their stewardship. Light and fire dances around her in the cold stone room, vaulting off the arches of the ceiling in the vast room they've moved into for her magic to have space to work in. She's in full control now, and desperate to learn more, but there's precious little left for them to teach her. Archmage Aunt Lazuli had taught both Theo and Lapin only a fraction of what she knew, and while that fraction is vast it is not inexhaustible. Lazuli doesn't appear in her reflections anymore and she can't talk to her through mirrors anyways, but Saccharina still aches as she loses the connection even as her powers burst from her fingertips. 

She pleads with Lapin to be allowed to bring Ruby and Jet in on the secret, but is rebuffered every time. She doesn't even bother with Sir Theo because she knows that he knows he can barely handle the twins without magic. 

* * *

"I will keep him safe," Lapin says, holding Saccharina's shoulders firmly. "But you must trust me." Tears well in her eyes, but he forces her to keep looking at him until she nods and stops fighting him. He nods to the guards holding Liam and they all leave together. 

It's a long cold night in the Church's prison. Liam cries and Lapin paces and parlays with the other Primogens. Belizabeth does not deign to visit, but he sends her a missive regardless, vouching for Liam's lack of magic. She is on the warpath, her long fingers holding many threads, and she is looking for someone to blame. Candian magic, _Saccharina_ 's magic, was witnessed on the Sucrosi Road, and someone will be punished for it. 

Everything about this reeks of corruption, of betrayal, but he promised Saccharina not to leave her brother and so he stays. There is a knot in his stomach shaped like self-sacrifice. He hopes it will not come to this. Perhaps, on the Book of Saint Citrina, Liam could absolve himself, but Liam cannot lie to say there was no magic, for there was, a wave of green light emanating from his sister standing above his prone form. 

The blame must fall somewhere. Once, he would have said Sir Theobald, but long years of late nights in the deep dark belly of Castle Candy have softened Lapin's heart to the big brute. He is an honorable man, and does not deserve the sort of death the Church will put a witch to. 

Lapin did magic during the battle to summon life back into the lungs of Princess Ruby. When he testifies on the Book of Saint Citrina, to call himself a heretic will not be a lie.

He is resolved. Perhaps Amethar, in his mercy and after the long years Lapin has served him and his family, will see fit to petition Emperor Uvano on his behalf. A sentence handed down by the crown will be a far quicker and less painful death than whatever Belizabeth might cook up for his keeping treacherous magics right beneath her nose.

The corridor outside Liam's cell is perfumed purple sticky-sweet as Lapin keeps his final watch. 


	3. what you mean to people

"Congratulations. In that case, who is the new legal heir to the throne of Candia?"

Pop's hand is on her Aunt Citrina's Book of Leaves. Jet rolls her shoulders, preens a little. A week ago she wanted nothing to do with the throne. She's still not ready, but she's going to be amazing either way. Grissini has stepped away from where he had been holding Rina, and she winks at him before resettling her attention on Amethar.

"Saccharina Ghee." Amethar says. His voice is hoarse. "My eldest true-born daughter."

Jet's stomach drops. She whips her gaze over to Saccharina _Jawbreaker_ , standing beside her, who is slack-jawed and wide eyed. Ruby grabs her wrist, _hard_ . " _What?_ " Jet hisses, in the moment of quiet that sinks into the cathedral, and the only reason nobody hears her is because of the shouting.

"Oathbreaker!" comes the screech of the Pontifex over the din of the crowd. Pops roars something in response and they lunge at each other.

"Did you know?" Jet demands and Saccharina looks a mile away. "Saccharina! Did. You. _Know_?" Ruby's tugging on her sleeve and Jet can smell the sour electricity of her bow unsheathed.

"No," Saccharina says. She looks dizzy and scared and there are lots of people looking at them and weapons being drawn. "No, Jet, how - I don't _understand_."

"There's no time for this," Ruby says, shoving herself between them on the pew. "Rina, don't do anything stupid, you-know-what-I-mean-by-stupid, okay?"

Saccharina nods, and the air in the room stills again, her storm magic dissipating. She fumbles for her sword and Jet can't stop _staring_ at this girl who she thought was her cousin but loved like a sister who is _actually_ her sister, and holy fuck are she and Ruby _bastards_?

This is all bad and getting worse and Sir Theo's hand comes down on her shoulder from the row behind them. "We might need to make a very quick exit," he says. Sir Toby is at his side and he's battered and bruised, like someone very recently tortured him. On his other side, Lapin is talking quickly and quietly to Saccharina, giving her some kind of breathing exercise. Why did Saccharina end up with magic and not her and Ruby? It seems grossly unfair, they have at least one parent in common.

" _Enough,"_ Amethar roars from the dais. The Pontifex has been knocked flat on her ass and he's standing on the altar holding the Book of Leaves. "I am not an oathbreaker. The Concord still stands." The room is quiet but the tension holds, terrible and hot. "I am the lawful Emperor. I have broken no laws of the Concord. All three of my daughters are legitimate." A little tension spills from Jet's shoulders but it's replaced with anger. What was the _point_ of being lied to, the point of all the deception, the _point_ of attending a million billion hours of lessons on history and statecraft if she was never going to be King? The mood in the room is still bad, but it's Citrina's Book of Leaves. His words are undeniable.

Primsy Coldbottle stands from her bench and makes her way through the frozen crowd to the foot of the dais. She kneels, and makes her oath of fealty. Amethar drops down off of the altar top and raises her to her feet, kisses her brow. Basha Myaso is next, then Nezemiah Cabbage, and as the nations come forth to swear their loyalty under the Concord, the Pontifex stands behind Pops with murder in her eyes.

A red-faced Plumbeline is standing and receiving Amethar's acknowledgement when Calroy appears at Saccharina's side. "My lady," he whispers to her and his posture is deferent in a way it has never been and for a second Jet thinks she sees something in him she dislikes because Calroy has always seen Saccharina as a minor nuisance. "You'll have to go as well."

"Oh," Saccharina says. She looks empty and scared and it won't do.

Jet could say something. Jet could place her circlet on Saccharina's head, squeeze her hand, nudge her forward with a smile.

She doesn't.

Saccharina walks to the dais bare-headed and kneels before their _father_. "Candia swears its continued fealty to the law of the Concord and to your reign, Emperor Amethar Rocks of the house of Rocks." It's a cobbled version of what the other royals have said, just the words she needs to legally say.

Pops takes the crown off his own head and Jet feels sick. He places it on Saccharina's head. "I name you Queen Saccharina of Candia, first of your name, under the light of the Bulb and the Oath of the Concord." He almost helps her to his feet but the Pontifex makes a little _harrumph_ , which is incredible given that she just tried to murder Saccharina's brother - well, Liam's just a _cousin_ , now - and dethrone their entire family. So Pops lets her kneel and the Pontifex blesses Saccharina, which takes forever so it gives Jet and Ruby time to speak.

"What the fuck is happening?" Ruby asks in twin-speak.

"I don't know," Jet says, tries to hide how _angry_ she really is about all this. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Do you think Mom knows?"

Jet doesn't know what to make of that. Mom knows everything, but for Mom to know this would be mind-bending. Caramelinda would never have allowed this to go on for this long if she had known. Right? Right. "I almost wish we were bastards."

"Ruby Rocks, bastard of the realm," Ruby muses. "It has a nice ring to it."

Saccharina stands and Amethar kisses her forehead as he has done all the rest and she stumbles back to their pew, still looking undignified and scared. Jet doesn't glare, but she'd like to.

* * *

"I loved your mother more than anybody," Amethar - her _father_ \- says, when they're in the quiet of his new receiving chambers. They're grandiose and decorated in green and gold and purple; house Uvano colors.

There are a lot of things she wants to say, like _who_ and _what_ and _tell me more about her_ and _why didn't you tell me_ and _how do you expect me to run a country_ , but what comes out is, "Jet and Ruby should be here for this."

Amethar sighs, bows his head. His new crown of the Concordant Emperor is bulkier than the one that now sits unevenly upon her own brow. "Alright," he says. "We'll send for them." He sticks his head into the hall and Rina hears the wet patter of Limon's feet running up the hall. "Will you help me write to your Aunt - well, she's not your Aunt, she's your step-mother, Caramelinda?"

Her _step-mother_. Saccharina laughs a little to herself at that, but fetches paper and ink from a richly appointed desk. "What will it need to say?"

"Uh," he sits beside her at one of the delicate gilded tables, and the chair groans under his bulk. Redecorating will be in order. "I'm Emperor and she's Empress. Everyone knows about you, and me being your dad. You're Queen of Candia now. Everybody is okay but things are a little not good still."

She scratches out the missive and Amethar seals it with wax and his heavy ring, which he hands to her afterwards, the royal seal of Candia.

The door swings open and Ruby and Jet walk in, and when they see her sitting at a table with Amethar both their faces twist. Ruby's face is familiar, always the same as she's ever looked at Rina. But then, she was never the heir to begin with, there was less for her to lose, and third in line's not a bad place to run away to the circus from. Jet's face turns into an ugly mask Rina has never seen before on her, but then she clearly tries to sweep it away.

"Pops," Ruby says. She curtseys a little but the joke doesn't land. "You sent for us."

"Come sit," Amethar says, and they go, obedient for the first time Rina's ever seen. They sit across the table from them. Jet sits as far from Rina as she can, but at least Ruby reaches across the table to grab Rina's hand for a tight squeeze. "I owe all you girls an apology. Your mom and I - or, Caramelinda, and I, we never thought that. Well, we never thought that any of this would end up like this. And I'm sorry for that."

"You never thought that lying to us about who we are our entire lives was going to backfire?" Jet snipes, and Amethar sighs, rubs his forehead.

"No. We didn't. I'll explain it all as well as I can." He turns to Rina and she looks at his face and sees the Rocks family features that she sees in the mirror and always thought were Joren Jawbreaker's reflected back at her. "I met your mother during the Ravening War. Her name was Catherine Ghee, and she was a milkmaid from the Dairy Islands. We fell in love and were married. The war took me away from her, but I fought every minute to try and get back to her, and even though I didn't know it, to you. We didn't find you until after the war, when Sir Toby was able to locate you and bring you back. Catherine was already dead," There are tears in Rina's throat but she swallows them down, and she can see Amethar do the same as he plows onwards. "Of some kind of illness. I don't know the details. Sir Toby brought you back to Castle Candy, the legal heir but the daughter of a Dairy Island peasant. He, your mother - Caramelinda, sorry, and I decided that we would ask my uncle Joren to claim you as his child, and in return we'd put an end to the fight over his rebellion during the war. It meant I could keep you near me, but it also meant that my marriage to Caramelinda could go through, and Candia could at least have the illusion of strength and peace after the war."

"So you lied to all of us," Jet says. Ruby elbows her, eyes full of tears, but Jet's lip is curled. "You lied to _everybody_ about all this. I can't believe Mom _let_ you do this to us!"

"He had a good reason," Ruby starts, but Jet's furious and Rina can't blame her. Nobody ever told her about her mother, not even when she was some ambiguous woman in Joren's partnership. Now there's grief in her lungs but also anger in her belly.

"I know," Amethar interrupts as Jet starts to get going. "I know. And there is going to be hell to pay for what we did, I know this. I love all of you, and I have tried to be there for all of you. But legally, Saccharina is my eldest daughter from a legitimate, Bulb-recognized marriage, and we need to deal with what that means for right now."

There are a lot of things she wants to say, like _help_ and _again, how do you expect me to run a country_ and _please let me abdicate myself out of this mess so Jet will stop looking at me like she's never looked at anything else before_ , but what comes out is, "Tell me more about Catherine Ghee, please. I want to know everything."

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr [here](https://myclericalromance.tumblr.com)


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